Meds, Mamba, & Me

It has been a full month here in Zambia. Early September found me partnering with Nurse Mpongo to give medicine to hundreds of students at Chifusa Basic School to treat worms and bilharzia. I would try to make them laugh while they were swallowing and then have them stick out their tongues to verify the medicine had really been consumed. This event further confirmed the fact that I never want to be a nurse. Mid September, on a walk to a neighboring village school, Rocky (my dog) and I came across a 5 foot green mamba laying across the path. Let me rephrase that. Rocky daintily stepped over the snake and it was me that stopped and notified everyone else that the snake was there. That dog is cute and great company but as for a fearless guard dog he is not making the grade! Girls’ Club continues to meet on Thursday afternoons, the past weeks focusing on early marriages and pregnancies. Club Mweka is going strong on Sunday evenings and the kids are eagerly waiting responses to their pen friend letters. We’ve been able to use financial support from CCR families and the youth group to pay for school supplies for this term and that was a huge help to the kids. Much of my time the past month has been focused on organizing for an Independence Day festival and HIV testing event for the 24th of October (Zambian Independence Day). This has meant a lot of coordinating between District officials, NGOs and my community.

I’ve also had the joy of meeting up with other Peace Corps volunteers. Julie, who I went to Tanzania with last December, planned on staying a day at my site and ended up staying a week. It was so fun to have someone to watch the sunset with at the dam and to play cards with late into the night. I’m not sure that she’ll be coming back since she also had the joy of her first snake exposure at my site and the fact that I am no competition to her amazing Rummy playing abilities. The past week I have been in Lusaka for mid term medical examinations and was given a clean bill of health and the ecstasy of sitting in an air-conditioned movie theatre!

To wrap it up, I just want to ask for prayer from all of you. I have definitely been experiencing a season of discouragement since coming back from the United States. Ironically, the programs and activities I am involved with here are going the best they have since my arrival to Zambia in 2006, but I can’t seem to get past this feeling of none of it being ‘enough’. Please ask God to show me Himself and to reveal where it is He wants me to be focusing my efforts. I am also asking that you be in prayer for a very special girl, Alyssa Geske (16). Her family has been a part of my home church for 12 years, and I have had the joy of leading her as a middle schooler at CCR. This girl is so full of life and a love for the Lord and others. I received news this week from my mom that Alyssa has been diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. Pray that God will perform a miracle – He is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do.

Thanks for reading and for your prayers!

LoveHate

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking lately of all the things that I hate about Zambia and have been pretty down lately. You know, like ‘I can’t get off the phone with my mom without crying’ down. It’s just that I know when I hang up I won’t get to hear her voice or hear about all of you for awhile. It actually gets me choked up right now…which leads me into this latest blog. The other night my friend Heidi and I were eating spinach ravioli (love) we had just made from scratch (hate) and we got to talking about things we loved about being here in Zambia. So I’ve decided I am going to start a regular love/hate segment to this blog and document my bi-polarness in regards to this chapter of my life! Hope it makes you laugh or think or smile or whatever. And then write me about some of your loves and hates.

Love: The tropical fruit here. Having been glutinous as a child at the Sizzler salad bar, going back multiple times for piles of fruit, its like I’ve returned to that blissful salad bar of 1988, except that now I have little African children climb trees to get it. As we go into rainy season soon I cannot wait for the mangos, guavas, and bananas that grow like…fruit at the Sizzler circa 1988.

Hate: The line, “I want to marry a white woman.” Thanks, that is really special; I think you probably love me. How many cows am I worth to you? Will I be wife #4? Or #8? Being noticed strictly because of the color of my skin is something that I had never experienced living in predominantly Caucasian areas in the US. It gives me a totally different perspective for how minorities feel. I hate it. And marriage proposals from strangers are ridiculous. Patrick Dempsey if you are reading this, I do not consider you a stranger, Dr McDreamy.

Love: My freedom here. I can make my own schedule, which always includes an hour in the morning of sipping coffee and journaling, and an hour at night of running while the sun goes down. Most likely I will never again have so much time on my hands or freedom to do as I please. The work I am doing here I love-teaching, being an advocate for people, investing into lives. It is slightly different then working for a Fortune 100 company and being on the phone with clients all day.

Hate: Being away from people I love. I want to wrap my arms around you, laugh with you, hold your hand when you are sad, leave you a dorky voicemail, tell you a story. I hate that we are separated by an ocean…you seem a world away and then some.

Now it's your turn...tell me your loves/hates....

Glowing

The first ever GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) camp for Southern Province was a huge success-so much so that we are already looking to have another at the end of the April school break. We had 16 girls from 16 different villages and it was awesome to see them grow in the few days we had them. A bit shy and reserved at first by the end of the week we could not get them to sleep. Lucky for me I sacrificed and went first at cabin duty! I was sleeping soundly the last night while the other Peace Corps volunteers were struggling to communicate to the girls that they really did need to sleep at some point!

To all of you who supported this even, either through prayer or financial contributions-thank you so much! Your support allowed each girl to have a once in a lifetime adventure. Our first night at camp I was walking with a girl, Phyllis, a 9th grader from Namywanga Village. She was explaining to me that her aunt was being buried that next morning. When I asked her why she wasn’t going to be there she responded by saying, “My auntie is already gone. But the things I will learn at this camp can change my life…and I can teach those things to my friends.” No doubt there are times in my experience here where things seem totally pointless and I’m ready to change the Peace Corps slogan from “the hardest job you’ll ever love” to “the longest vacation you’ll never understand.” This however was not one of those moments.

I have done my share of youth events over the years. Most of the CCR kids and some of the adults (sorry Zane) have scars to prove it. I can honestly say that this was one of the most rewarding camps for which I have been involved. From listening to the girls share “The Me I Want to Be,” to watching them problem solve how to untangle themselves from a huge knot, to laughing at their portrayal of adolescent boys’ pick up lines---it was a joy to be a part of this camp. We were also able to enjoy a great home cooked meal (including Ranch dressing!!!) and viewing of the classic underdog story, “Rudy”, thanks to a missionary family (the Gregersens) that live near the school where we held the camp. It was awesome to see how God worked that out to bring joy to the girls and to the Peace Corps Volunteers!

Again, thanks so much! Continue to pray with me as these girls move forward to lead their peers, their communities, and hopefully one day their country, Zambia.

Long After

Long after the long flight. Long after being greeted by balloons, flowers, banners, and best friends. Long after GI Joes, Annie Oakleys, Tacky Tourists and Hebert Hoover said hello. Long after the last of my Chipotle burrito has been picked from my teeth and been replaced with sandy grit (I need to stop smiling when the wind is blowing dirt). Long after sweat has replaced the glorious ice cold refreshment of jumping into the Punch Bowls. Long after the icing has been wiped off Delaney's face. Long after Paris has returned to normal life and her sacrilegious ways. Long after Michelle and Mike's 8 minute wedding ceremony. Long after Kelly and Bryan have returned from the honeymoon. Long after I swept many a game night (just kidding but who can refute it?). Long after baby showers are over. Long after tears and laughter with life long friends. Long after early morning coffee talks and late night ice cream runs. Long after parting hugs and kisses were given.

I long after it all again. Thanks for an awesome time at home. Miss You.

[Photos:Christy/Drea/Cait;Laney's B-day;Michelle's Rehearsal;Hunter's Photo of Cait/Kelly]

Back to the Bush

Sorry, sorry! Should have written sooner to let you all know I have indeed made it back to the bush safely. It has been a crazy last couple of weeks. I got out of the States, made it thru London, and into Zambia just fine. I had fun celebrating the big *27* here with friends. The fact that I could hand over American goodies to them made me quite the hit at my own party! In my honor they opened up a new grocery store (SPAR a South African chain)in Choma town. I know the fact that I am writing to the US about a grocery store makes me a complete loser, but you have no idea the ecstasy that comes when you can find both cinnamon and toothpaste in the same store. It is the Truth, I'm telling you.

Right away I had 4 visitors to my place in Chifusa. They are new Peace Corps trainees who wanted to see what life was really like out here! They are going to be sworn in as volunteers next week as long as I didn't scare them too much! I think showing people that, although long and tedious, it is possible to make and cook eggrolls over an open fire should only add to their repetoire of survival skills. They also got to teach at Girls Club, Chifusa Basic School, and help with Club Mweka. Which leads me to my next topic...

Club Mweka basically rocks. It was so fun to reunite with all of the kids in the group. They sang a 'welcome back' song to me, brought all of us tons of Zambian food, and had a blast getting letters from pen pals back in the states. Which made me think I should probably leave more often! For those of you who are pen pals with one of the kids from our club---they already love you and they are writing letters back that I should be sending next week. We taught them some new 'American' Games - duck/duck/goose, as well as Red Rover/Red Rover. Well, to be honest I taught them duck/duck/chicken as I have no idea what the word for goose is in Chitonga. It has the same general idea. They however had already player Red Rover, so that was nothing new to them. But if you think I am the only one that substitutes words, well think again. As I'm listening to them chant, I hear, "Land Rover, Land Rover, send Lydia right over." Red Rover, Land Rover...whatever.

Monday through Wednesday of this last week I had a training at the school with 15 students that were chosen by the teachers to be HIV/AIDS Peer Educators. The training went awesome, and I am really excited to work with these kids. Two of my counterparts from the village, Getrude Kayawe and Omsley Mudenda were with me throughout the training to help translate and teach and together we were able to really reach the students. Our last day we had each of them make an action plan for how they are going to reach out to their peers in the village and at school. We are going to meet monthly to continue to move forward with getting the information out about HIV. In Zambia 78% of all new infections are sexually transmitted so with the youth we are really focusing on making educated decisions regarding sex. I'm excited to see where the next year will take this group of peer educators and how we can partner together to really reach out to our community.

Yesterday I cycled into town to continue some fund-raising efforts for our GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) Camp that is set for the 21st-25th of August. We are working with local business owners to try and raise money and supplies for the camp. We really want to see the Zambian people invest in their girls! Our efforts are going ok, but I am also putting word out there to anyone back home that wants to be involved. It is about $40USD to sponsor a girl for the 5 days they will be at Camp. This includes transportation, lodging, food, etc. Each Peace Corps Volunteer is bringing 2 girls from their village to the camp. The idea is to train them in leadership and life skills, with a focus on them going back to the village to start a Girls Club with their Peace Corps volunteer. It is also going to be a really fun time for the girls to get away from all the duties that they have at home. For 5 days they will get to have someone else cook for them, they'll have running water, and they will get to meet other girls their age from throughout Zambia. We have a movie night, theme party night (come on-you know me), and Talent Show planned. It is going to be great. So if you would like to sponsor a girl to go to camp I am asking you to contact me! You can sponsor her for the full $40 or send whatever is possible. Email me at caitclarkson@hotmail.com, or respond in comments. The easiest way to get money to me here is through Western Union, but there is a $25 fee to send money, so ideally we can have everyone send checks to one person and then have them send the money to me over here. Get back with me as soon as possible if you are interested.

I think all of you are officially caught up on my life for now. I will try and post on here at least once a month-so keep checking back! It has been lonelier being back here after getting to spend time with a lot of you that I love so much. I'm excited to make the most of this last year and then get home!!!

[Photos: Rocky & His awesome collar!/Club Mweka Kids with Letters/Peer Educators]

American Icon Party

Just want to make sure that everyone knows I want them to be at my Welcome Home Party!!! Sorry if we didn't have your email to send you the evite but here are the details:
Where: 6030 Ashton Park Place, Colorado Springs, CO
When: Saturday, June 30, 11:30am
Questions? Andrea: 237-6530 or Ryan: 332-4007

"Come and welcome Caitlin home as she returns from the bush! Let's celebrate in style and remind Caitlin of her heritage by dressing as your favorite American icon.

Bring a side-dish or beverage to share and gather at the Clarkson's! All grilling meats and some beverages will be provided."

...23 Days...

While some days drag on forever, I still absolutely cannot believe that I have been in Zambia for over a year (My mom feels differently)! As I am wrapping things up to come home for three weeks, I am filled with so many mixed feelings. First and foremost I am thrilled at the thought of reuniting with my family and friends back in the United States. I can’t wait to hold my niece for the first time, slumber party it up with my sisters, talk with friends face to face and gasp for fresh Rocky Mountain air. It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it! For three weeks I will get to be surrounded by people that understand personal space, know what ‘Venti’ means, and have seen me clean on more than one occasion! Will I miss the men with AK47s walking down the sidewalk? No. What about hearing “Magua, Magua, Magua” (white person, white person, white person). Not even a little bit. And while getting my water from the well really hasn’t been bad, I think I will let the faucet run the whole time I am brushing my teeth. Sorry, Al Gore and company. : )

As I close out a year, I am struck by how little I feel I have accomplished how much I still want to do upon my return. Will one more year be enough? This first year has been so much of laying a foundation-networking, getting a sense of the culture, learning how things are done here. While I know my relationships with people have affected us both, there is still so much I want to teach, to give, to encourage. I am sure at this time next year I will still have a sense of leaving things unfinished, but I am committed to coming back and making the most of every opportunity that is given to me, even fighting for these opportunities if necessary. The last couple weeks in my village have been some of the most encouraging work-wise and relationally. Just this past weekend provided so much encouragement. Some friends from Choma came out to the village to share a film and talk with the people in my village-over 600 gathered together for the Friday night event. The next day Club Mweka doubled in size and we had about 60 kids out playing hot potato. I think God knew I needed that boost if He was going to get me back here to Zambia!

I have been privileged to live in deep community in the United States prior to coming to Africa. Even still, I have learned so much about interdependence from my time of independence on the ‘dark continent’. I love Krzyszt of Kieslowski’s insight into some fundamental differences between Africa and the West. He writes, “Suffering unites people, while affluence and riches divide people. In our time success is fashionable. Strength is fashionable. Weakness is not fashionable. Compassion is not fashionable. Yet these are the qualities that bring people together.” Now I have suffered on more than one occasion with friends and family back home, but that is an exception, not the norm. To have lived in this society where hunger, sickness, poverty, and death are staples of life, I have seen even more the beauty of solidarity. No doubt it has and will continue to shape they way I live my life. Long after my footprints have disappeared from the continent, the fingerprints of those I’ve lived with will remain on my heart.

Dear friends I will see you soon.

CLUB MWEKA

Come bathed. No bullying. Boys and girls get equal playing time. No insults. Come on time. No stealing. Listen when someone else is talking. These were just a few of the rules the kids voted into existence last Sunday. When choosing goals for the club, becoming better at futbol and learning topped the list. Of the 28 children that attended, nearly all are single or double orphans. All of them are seeking a place they can come and be just what they are-children.

Meet Club Mweka, a pilot program for orphans and vulnerable children in Simane Village, Zambia. Thanks to funding from the CCR Youth Group in Colorado Springs, the youth in this village will have the opportunity to get together to play games, learn vital life skills and be assisted with literacy. After lots of groundwork over the last months, we officially kicked off our club last Sunday afternoon and it was a hug success. I'm so excited to move forward with these kids and see what the future brings. While some of the children attend school, the majority are not currently going, so to get to be a part of the club is a great self-esteem boost for them!

Right now I am co-leading the club with Omsley, who was born and raised in Simane Village and has a passion for community development and youth. This next week he will be attending a 4-day HIV/AIDS workshop I am co-facilitating in Choma. Being able to provide him with more knowledge will even better equip him in this endeavor. He has great rapport with the kids and to partner with him is a pleasure.

As we look to the future our goal is to expand into the other 13 villages (and beyond!) in our area, training mentors and establishing clubs in each village. While being completely adorable is not a requirement for the club, I swear every child steals your heart. Pray that God would continue to bless this group of children and give us wisdom as we lead them!

Personal Legends

“Everyone, when they are young, knows their personal legend. At that point in their lives everything is clear to them and all is possible. They aren’t afraid to dream, to yearn for everything they would like to see happen in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their personal legend.” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I love the truth behind that quote. As children we have the ability to dream freely-regardless of culture, time, or place. Children in the United States dream of becoming doctors and nurses, firefighters and teachers. Children here in Zambia share those same dreams. You don’t often hear children say that they aren’t smart enough or they aren’t sure they’ll have the money for college. The sky is the limit, and nothing inhibits their dreaming.

For me, after serious consideration and the ruling out of becoming Kelly Kapowski’s little sister on “Saved by the Bell”, I dreamed of becoming a famous news anchor. My family can attest to my days of “Reporting live from the backyard”. I would set up the ironing board and use that as my news desk and then video tape my segments. My freshman year in college I even enrolled as a Broadcast Journalism major. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was God just redirecting where I was going, but after first semester I switched majors and now today I find myself here in Zambia. But I still love to tell stories and to seek out the unseen. I think the person we were in our early years before we become wounded by the world, is often the person of our “personal legend.” How awesome it is when people are able to chase after those dreams and capture the essence of who they want to become.

I love talking with children here in Zambia. It helps that they don’t laugh at my Chitonga (our local language) and somehow my ridiculous gestures and made up words connect the meaning for them. When asked what they want to become they just tell you-with no shame or embarrassment. Bertha (10) wants to be a doctor, not a nurse like all the other girls. Mulenga (12) wants to be an accountant-I think she read that in one of my Newsweeks. Majory (16) wants to teach English and Cholwe (17) wants to be able to take care of her little brother and sisters. I think my time here in Zambia is about instilling in them the power to believe that those things can happen. Instead of standing with the majority of people here and telling these girls that their education isn’t important, that they will most likely get pregnant and become another struggling woman, I can tell them to believe that all things are possible, that they can fulfill their personal legend.

Here in Zambia people actually believe that men are smarter than woman. This isn’t some vague cultural idea. Boys actually have to get higher passing grades on the grade 9 and grade 12 exams than the girls. When I’ve questioned the teachers on this practice, they will tell me that if the girls didn’t have a lower expectation than none of the girls would pass to the next grade. You can imagine my pride when one girl, Mercy, scored 100% on my history exam! I was bursting with joy for her. I ran to her house to tell her family how proud I was and how she was really setting the example for other girls in the school. Unfortunately, this last Monday as we started classes again Mercy was not found among my pupils. Her family decided that instead of continuing on with 8th grade, this 15 year old girl should get married. And so she won’t finish her education, she won’t get to live out her life the way she dreamed as a child.

I know my thoughts have been a bit all over the place today. I guess what I really want to say is just that wherever we are with kids, whether its in our living room or across oceans, we need to encourage them to dream big. And as we grow up and encounter other people we need to also encourage them to not look at all that stands in the way, but to see the possibilities. Heal from the wounds that this world and its people have inflicted on us and be the person we really want to be. Maybe we all need to remember that child inside of us and figure out how we can let them out to play. That is when we will be free to truly dream again.

Signing off from Zambia, I am Caitlin Clarkson.

Spring Break

As the official 8th grade History teacher at Chifusa Basic, I felt I need to act like a teacher and go on Spring Break! Schools here in Zambia are closed for the month of April so it provided a great window of opportunity! Granted, I had only taught African History for about a month, but the month on/month off schedule was working great with my tan! So the first week of April I headed out to Malawi, a little country on Zambia's eastern border. Ten other Peace Corps volunteers all met up for a week away from our villages. The fact that there was electricity would have been enough, but on top of that, we were staying at a "resort" right on the beach. Seven days of waking up to the sound of crashing waves, laying on the sand, swimming in warm water, exploring deserted islands, and watching satellite TV at night was heavenly. Our last day we went to a crocodile farm that was home to 14,000 crocodiles, some of which came from the lake in which we had been swimming. I was glad that was on our last day, as it was about as wise as watching Jaws before a dip in the Pacific! While vacation was awesome it was fun to come back to Zambia. You can take the girl out of the village, but you can't take the village out of the girl...or something like that! It was nice to come back to a country where I speak the language and understand the currency. I feel really blessed that I get to travel around and see more of this amazing continent.

Things are pretty quite in my village with school out of session and many friends gone on holiday. So it has been me and my dog, Rocky (for the mountains, not the movie), hanging out together. This 9 week old puppy thinks he is so fierce and makes me laugh daily. He is a nice cover too because now when I am talking to myself and getting funny looks I just say I was "talking to my dog". Pet ownership seems to be agreeing with me for the most part-HUGE surprise.

In May I am going to be piloting a program for orphans and out of school youth in my community. I ask that you keep this in your prayers. It is a sports/literacy/life skills program that has the opportunity to be really effective. Please pray that God will use the program to reach a niche of you that is otherwise ignored.

Hope all of you had a great Easter holiday. Blessings!

The Interview

My friend here in Zambia "lent" me her favorite poem, I hope you enjoy it as well!

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals, or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tops of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human…

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to now if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustained you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

-Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Negativity

In most cases being negative isn’t a positive thing, but for me it has brought about celebration! Eating a steak, sipping a martini, going to the movies kind of celebration! For those of you not yet following me, let me fill you in…

About three months ago, on December 10th, I had the most amazing experience. I was able to help in the delivery of a baby boy at our clinic in Chifusa. The doctor was busy with other patients, so it was just me and a traditional birth attendant in the room. Having gained most, if not all, of my medical expertise from ER and Dr McDreamy, and only wearing Chaco sandals, I wasn’t expecting to be given the responsibility of OBGYN for the morning. The fact that I was helping to deliver a child is terrifying if you know my disdain for bodily fluids and my Anatomy and Physiology grade. But none the less, this is Zambia where I have learned to buck up in just about any situation. So there I am at the end of the delivery bed, this young soon-to-be mother pushing away, and me encouraging the situation! She had been in labor for some time and I had just come into the room. Besides my own, I had never been in the room during a delivery. Now, where was the episode on Grey’s where the naïve, yet beautiful and bright, intern is soaked by a tidal wave of amniotic fluid and blood as the mother lays on her back with her legs spread for the delivery? Unfortunately for me, I missed that episode. Another unfortunate circumstance was that I had a large gash on my foot from cutting it on barbed wire the night before. So due to the tsunami force splash zone I had entered, I now had the blood and vaginal fluids of this woman soaking into my foot. She was not sure if she was HIV positive, and due to the rural location of our clinic, we don’t have testing available. So in an instant I’m thinking ‘I may just have contracted HIV,’ ‘This was my sister’s biggest fear for me in coming here,’ ‘I need to get on post exposure prophylaxis (PEP),’ ‘I am suing NBC for negligence.’ Those thoughts ran through my head in a second but then it was back to work, as I was able to help bring this magical sci-fi episode called a delivery to its conclusion. It was incredible to see this baby/alien come into the world. I highly recommend that you watch a birth sometime. Ideally in a “no-splash zone” covered from head to toe in impenetrable armor.

I called our Peace Corps Medical Officer that afternoon and was advised that I would need to come into Lusaka to get on PEP within 72 hours for it to be effective. PEP is a drug that those who have been exposed to HIV can take and it has been effective in stopping the virus. As I lay in bed that Saturday night I had a restless sleep. I kept thinking, “If I just contracted HIV today, was it worth it? Would I be willing to die for these people?” I wrote the following prayer in my journal the next morning. “Please calm me Lord. I know that all things work together for the good of those who love You. I know trials build endurance and this will add to the perfecting of my faith. I know You don’t promise us easiness or an exception of pain, so I just ask that in my soul you make it ok. Use it for the perfection of my faith. Thank you for allowing me to experience that birth. It truly was awesome.”

The delivery was on a Saturday and transport from my village doesn’t leave until Monday morning again, so I was a little nervous about the time crunch. Luckily I was able to hitch a ride on a vehicle transporting cattle to Choma on Sunday. I made it into Lusaka by Monday morning and the first HIV test came back negative. The HIV test is actually testing for antibodies that you produce in response to the infection, so it can take up to 3 months to be sure that you are in the clear. Because of that “window period” there was still the chance that I could test positive down the road. So the waiting game began. I chose to not tell my family back home as it is stressful enough for them that I am across the world living in a hut. When I finally told them the news last week it included the fact that my final test had come back negative and I am completely healthy. Praise God! I may never have been exposed to the virus, or God may have performed a miracle and protected me- I will never know. Of this I am confident; He did work out all things for the good and did strengthen my dependence on Him. May He do the same for you.

The Greatest of These

My kindred spirit of a cousin responded to my last blog with affirmation and encouragement regarding my time here in Zambia (check it out under comments). And in the last week her words really challenged me to get my focus off of what I can do and go back to believing Him for the results, both in me and in the villages I serve. When Jesus walked the earth, in a place much different than His home, where dusty feet, angry mobs, and harsh critics had replaced streets of gold and perfection, He told His followers the greatest commandments were to first love God, and second to love others. Let me share with you what that has looked like for me this week. I share not to bring glory to myself in anyway, but to let you know how Christ’s words are penetrating my heart and to encourage you to allow Him to work in you and use you in your corner of the world. Each morning this week I’ve prayed that God would allow me to see Him and to increase my faith in Him. It was seen in how He can take seeds in my garden and grow them into vegetables I can share with my villagers (Trust me, if you knew my brown thumb you would recognize this is verging on miraculous). Loving others was sharing cappuccino with a little girl after her last penicillin injection for chicken pox. It was sitting in a hot room next to the bed of a woman suffering from boils all over her body. It was asking forgiveness from a neighbor whom I had hurt. It was walking 10 miles to watch our school’s futbol team play and making a fool of myself by cheering like mad. I might never see tangible change while I am here in Zambia, but I might also never again have the opportunity to hold a little girl in church while her mother is at home slowly dying. I may never have another opportunity to carry 20 liters of water on my head and then offer a drink to a thirsty child. I may never again sit with a family and have them question how I could leave everyone I love to come to a foreign land, only to explain to them that I really felt God had a purpose for me here. I pray I never again have to deal with the amount of dirt, bugs, or snakes that I have so intimately lived with these last nine months, but even if I do, I am so confident that He alone will give me the strength to pull through. Sometimes after these blogs I get feedback about how wonderful I am, and how incredible it is that I am doing these things. While I appreciate your encouragement, It is not my desire to take credit for this experience. Trust me I am a mess of a person a lot of the time. Most of you back home can attest to that! It is truly thru my belief and faith in God that I can do any of this. It may take just as much courage for you to walk across the room to talk with someone in need, or bring a meal to a friend with cancer, or ask forgiveness from a loved one. Let me encourage you by saying that God would not tell us the second most important commandment is to love our neighbor if He could not make it possible. God can raise the dead! He can surely teach you to hold your tongue, hold hands with an enemy, hold fast to His promises. But if we don’t grasp the first commandment-to love God, than the second one is impossible. If you don’t know God-the one true God, that created and loves us, the God that would allow His Son to walk the dusty roads from Jerusalem to Sidon and die on a cross for sins we have committed, we are committing, we will commit, the God that brings freedom- not rules and regulations- the God that allows run-on sentences like this one, if you don’t know that God, well I pray that you would take the time to seek Him out. He is Faithful. Holy. Consistent. Love. Trust me, without my faith in Him, without an understanding of His character, this whole experience here in Zambia would be a bleak and hopeless experiment of viewing the depravity of mankind. But because of Him, I can have hope-that He’ll do more than I could ever ask or imagine. So, my dear friends, I’ll leave you with all that to chew on! Love God first and love others second and then write me a letter and tell me what that looks like for you! Thank you for the love that you have shown me.

Icing

Who would have thought I could sip a cappuccino and nearly be mauled by baboons in the same day? Or that I can use my cell phone but still have to pump water from a well? Life here in Zambia is like that, a very distinct dichotomy between "civilization" and primitive conditions. In a country that only recently gained its Independence from the British, Zambia is making baby steps toward what they consider development. At times though, it seems they are adding "icing" to a cake that has not yet been bakes. Or even mixed or maybe the ingredients are hardly in the bowl yet. It is as thou the people of Zambia look West, see that we have cell phones and think that by owning one too they are somehow moving in the right direction. Currently there is not one single Zambian I know that recognizes the "vibrate" setting on their phone, so you'll be having an important meeting and all of the sudden Beyonce is singing "Answer your phone, your phone is ringing...". It talks in the Bible about building your house on a solid foundation, not on the sand where it will be washed away by the sea. This has been one of the biggest reality checks for me here in Zambia-realizing that in many ways I am just "icing". It is great that I can teach on HIV to the teachers at my school, but how effective is it when the same teachers are hardly in class teaching or that a number of them are having sexual relationships with the students? I love meeting with the girls and talking about the importance of staying in school and making goals for the future, but how possible is that when they are being impregnated by their teachers? I get so excited when I make strides at the clinic to provide testing for HIV, but how much hope do the people have that find out they are positive for the disease? The government of Zambia, because of outside donors, is able to provide "free" medical treatment and medications, but they are not accessible to the people in my village that are 40 miles from town. In the US we are so vocal about our qualms with life. We don't like George Bush, or the Democrats, we gripe about our economy or that taxes are too high-whatever it is that is causing us such strife. But the fact of the matter is that in the US the foundation is set, the cake is baked. So at least we can mess around with the icing, we can try different colors, flavors, sprinkles if we are feeling crazy. But here in Zambia, at least from my perspective, I see developed countries pouring literally billions of dollars into a country and we're drowning in frosting. Without the government and people of Zambia making a dramatic shift in the way this country is run the billions of dollars are being flushed down non-existent toilets. To me development is not cell phones, or Starbucks, or even GAP. But it is clean water, it is accessible and quality health care, it is a country that not only sees the value in education but supports it and makes it possible for their people. It is creating an economy that gives people the opportunity to provide for their family. My vision of what I am going to accomplish during my service here has dramatically shifted since I landed here in June. I will still continue to do all that I can to assist the people of Zambia and to encourage the values and truths that I believe will bring about true development in this country. Maybe one of the youth in my village will light that spark that causes the fire that bakes the cake. Or maybe we will just lick the frosting for the next 18 months. Some people like icing best.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Sometimes a pictures is worth a thousand words...so I will let Moie, Bertha, and Benne do the talking this week! These three girls can be found at my house just about every day, swinging upside down in my chikuta and just being silly. Moie and Bertha are the niece and daughter of Mrs Mpongo, and Benne is the daughter of one of the teachers at my school. I wish you could all have them come play at your house one day - they are so much fun!

Zam Fashion

If you are anything like me, when you picture African fashion you imagine tribal attire with the sword or water jug as the perfect accessory. Not so my friend! Unbeknownst to most of the world, Zambian fashion is made up mostly of second hand clothes from other parts of the world – mainly the United States. Since my last blog was a bit heavy, this week I thought I would stick with a lighter subject-the majesty of the second hand t-shirt, and its impact on Zambia. Most of the Zambians wearing these t-shirts have no idea what the slogans or logos mean and so this makes for a really humorous situation. I highly doubt that Milimo really was one of the ‘Mission Viejo Softball Champions’ or that Nchimunya has been to Arizona. My friend Brad tells of the pastor at the church in his village preaching an entire sermon while wearing a t-shirt with the caption ‘Tequila Mornings’ under the picture of a donkey wearing a sombrero passed out on the floor. His only response was “Amen.” At the funeral this last week Mrs. Mpongo wore a ‘Las Vegas’ t-shirt with a glittery rose on the front. Not exactly your typical funeral attire in the US. A couple months ago I was teaching at the school when a student walked in wearing a ‘Drake Relays’ shirt. Drake is the university in Iowa my little sister Devon attends. Maybe they know each other? The rapper 50Cent has a clothing line that is also very popular here in Zambia, though most of the people here have never listened to his music. My favorite is the knock off ’50Cents’ line of clothing that has also become popular. I also love seeing little kids wearing ‘Nick and Jessica 4ever’ shirts – guess that one didn’t work out? One day I know I’ll see a Coronado High School or PRIDE soccer shirt…you just never know who will be wearing your clothes next! Granted, for a lot of the people in my village this is the nicest shirt they have, and so they wear these clothes proudly, but I can still smile to myself and think, “Where am I?”

Price of a Life

Chipego Caitlin Mpongo October 11, 2006-February 7, 2007. "If there was a price for life I would have paid it. If I could have bought it to save her I would have." Those were the words my friend, Mrs Mpongo, sobbed into my shoulder as I held her on the side of the road. She had called me minutes earlier to tell me her daughter had died. Let me start from the beginning...Mrs Mpongo is the head nurse at our clinic and her family has embraced me since I came to my village in August. We've worked, cooked, played, and gardened together for the last 8 months. When she gave birth to a baby girl last October she introduced her to me as my "namesake" and another Chipego Caitlin was welcomed into our village. Two Thursdays ago Chipego musyoonto (little Chipego) had a fever and trouble breathing and was rushed to the hospital here in Choma. Her parent's waited with her Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. On Monday tests were finally done to try and diagnose her condition. When I came to the hospital to visit on Tuesday the doctor had still not come to read the tests but she was showing signs of improvement. The x-rays showed pneumonia in her lungs, and Mrs Mpongo had advised the nurses to give Chipego medicine while they waited further information from the doctor. It was around 10am on Wednesday morning that Chipego looked her mother in the eyes and then took her last breath. Mrs Mpongo told me she only wished that Chipego could have talked so she would have been able to tell her what was going on inside of her. Over the last 8 months I have been so immersed in the poverty here that I have somehow become a bit numb to the situation. It is easy to forget that poverty truly is a matter of life and death. We take so much for granted living in the US. Health care at its very worst in the US is still far better than the health care system here in Zambia. As a child I too had pneumonia, had I been born here in Zambia, most likely I would have died. Through the funeral and burial process in my village I have heard people comfort the family by saying, "it was God's will." Though I am fully aware of God's presence through this situation, I honestly do not believe it is God's will for people to live in poverty, for children to die because of medical negligence. Had this same scenario played out in the United States we would be screaming about malpractice and fighting for justice. On Friday we buried Chipego on a farm in our village. The choir sang "It is well with my soul". She fought for her last breath here on earth, but I am sure Chipego was having no problem breathing in the sweet scents of heaven. A little girl's body lies beneath the soil now, but her memory will remain alive in my heart. Cherish the time you have and those you love.

Care Packages

Thank you to all of you who have sent me AWESOME letters and packages here! People are always asking what type of things I want/need out here, so here is my latest list! But most importantly I love getting letters and pictures from you all!

Canned tuna/chicken
Trail Mix
Beef Jerky
Raisins
Dried Fruit
Brown Sugar
Oatmeal
AA Batteries
Magazines
Books
Skittles/Starburst/Gummy Bears/Peachios/Any fruity candy
Paper/Pens for my village kids
Bubble Gum/Candy for kids in my village
Any kind of ball/game for kids in my village

Thanks! Send any mail to me at: PO BOX 630569 Choma, Zambia

Laugh With Me

The topic I really want to write about this week is "Top 10 Reasons Zambia Sucks", but in an effort to stay positive I'll choose another topic. How about we go with things that made me laugh these past couple weeks? When we came upon a couple of pythons, I was quickly advised by my counterpart that pythons, contrary to popular belief, are actually "Christians, they don't bite people." Now you know. Chuckle. Or what about the names some Zambian parent's give their children? When you first see you precious newborn child why wouldn't the name "Alien" pop into your mind? Or maybe you think, "Oh wow, she looks just like a 'Pharisee'!" Those of you currently expecting, I just want to encourage you to maybe steer towards other name options. You don't want someone to make note of them in a blog one day. I also laughed/rolled my eyes as we are on transport to town yesterday and the top of our truck hit this branch causing a flock (yeah, that is the technical term) of catepillars to rain down on us. So not only are we in the back of this truck with bags of maize, a few goats, and tons of people, but now we have bright green catepillar guts on us and these bright furry creatures crawling everywhere. For whatever reason Zambians don't fear snakes but they fear catepillars. I was a pillar of strength amongst the masses and brought the hysteria under control. Definetly made me laugh.

Just a little insight into me, when I am really homesick I mask things with humor! Besides that, the last two weeks in my village have been the most encouraging workwise. I was able to do a training with 6 community members on Home Based Care. They will be caring for those who are unable or unwilling to get to the clinic for treatment. The workshop went really well and people were very receptive. My girls' club at school is going well, this last week we made "girls" out of playdough and had a really good discussion about all of our similarities and differences. Each girl was asked to write down a goal for the year, and when I received them, each one had written she wanted to be able to complete her education. I am super excited about investing into these young women over the next couple years. Also, on Monday I was able to meet with a doctor at a neighboring mission clinic and have organized for them to come do mobile HIV counseling and testing in our area on a monthly basis. This is HUGE as people in our area have never has access to testing. The head nurse at our clinic will be back from maternity leave in the next couple days, so work with the clinic should also pick up and go a bit smoother as she is an amazing woman.

I will close with a message from my friend here, Cholwe (17). She wrote this in a letter to Brittany, my friend back home in Colorado:

"You must not be thinking that Chipego is in trouble-NO! She is fine and she is under God's care. Greet all who know Chipego, don't worry, my friend, about Chipego, I'm with her."

Miss you all!

Game Time

It was such a joy to come back to Chifusa this past week. A new term at school has started, the rains have made everything more vibrant and my relationships with people in my village continue to grow. I have been getting up early in the morning to go for a run and it also gives me a chance to pray and think through my day. I absolutely love the way the sunlight and fog mix together to give everything a magical appeal. After my jog I get to enjoy French pressed (thanks Ry & Bren) coffee (thanks Tito) while listening to the BBC world news on my radio (thanks Hagood’s) and eating cinnamon roll oatmeal (thanks auntie Carol & mom). Life is so rough! While I am doing my morning routine tons of kids on their way to school wave and shout to me and I sing greetings back to them as well. This week it just really hit me how blessed I am to be in this situation; the pace of life is such that I can enjoy so many things that I would rush through back home in the states.

My friend Sam Lockhart and her work (thanks Adventure Club) sent out tons of toys and balls for the kids in my village. At lunch and after school I have groups of kids coming to my place to play. Other than a couple of rounds of out of control dodge ball, it has been awesome to watch these kids interact with one another. Leaders rise out of the group and they all work together to entertain themselves. Somewhere between each kick, throw, and catch the burden of poverty, of hunger, of sickness, all of it melts away and there is just a field of kids having a blast. I love that I get to watch and be a part of the fun. My competitive side (thanks Dad) also really enjoys being on the winning team.

When I am not playing, I actually work around here! This past week I was able to meet with the headmasters from three of the schools in my catchment area. All of them are going to work on action plans for how I can partner with them this next term. At Chifusa Basic I will be doing a one hour training each week with the teachers. We’ll be focusing on “Life Skills” that they can incorporate in their classrooms. The students have been given so much information on HIV and yet there is still a disconnect between that and changing their behavior. We are hoping that by giving them the tools for dealing with relationships, peer pressure, etc, we will see a move to behavior change. I am excited to see where the next term takes us.

Thank you again for your continued prayers. You have no idea how much each one of you, because of your influence in my life, is a part of this experience. I hope your days ahead are filled with simple joys!